The circle of success for a child is threefold: the student needs to be willing to get better at something, there needs to be positive parents that support the child, and positive role models or life coaches like martial arts instructors that help them along the way. What happens when the parents are positive and supporting, the instructors try their best, but the student is just unwilling to learn? If everything that you've tried doesn't work and you feel like you just want to give up.
My mom used to say, "I don't know how a parent can just kick their kid out of the house. No matter what you did I wouldn't kick you out." Well, lucky for her I never did anything that bad. But is that what happens when parents give up? I thought I was really good at getting into the head of kids and teenagers and could relate to them pretty well. Recently I worked with a teenager that, it seems, just can't be reached anymore. His mom is at her wits-end because he's abusing her with angry words and sometimes even tries to hit her. He picks on his little brother too, who is almost half his age. What do you do when you're faced with such a challenge?
I guess usually, on this blog I post tips and information that I have to share but this time maybe I'm asking for some opinions and comments. What do you do when your only option is to kick a kid out or call the police?
Calling an outside authority, like the police, can be a positive step, as the situation is on the wrong track and probably will only get worse. If there is real danger to a parent or sibling, calling the police is the right thing to do. It becomes a consequence in a situation where the current consequences are not working. The ultimate best thing would be somekind of family intervention. Therapists believe that when kids act up, there is usually something larger wrong as kids do not exist in a vacuum. Is there drug use? Extreme anger of fear? These things need to be addressed, not shoved out the door. Kicking kids out can contribute to the death of a kid. Unfortunately, our family has had that first hand experience.
ReplyDeleteCalling an outside authority, like the police, can be a positive step, as the situation is on the wrong track and probably will only get worse. If there is real danger to a parent or sibling, calling the police is the right thing to do. It becomes a consequence in a situation where the current consequences are not working. The ultimate best thing would be somekind of family intervention. Therapists believe that when kids act up, there is usually something larger wrong as kids do not exist in a vacuum. Is there drug use? Extreme anger of fear? These things need to be addressed, not shoved out the door. Kicking kids out can contribute to the death of a kid. Unfortunately, our family has had that first hand experience.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree that calling the police can be a positive thing. If the parent is truly fearful for herself, the teen, and/or the sibling, calling the police is definitely the right thing to do. Perhaps another alternative is therapy? Anger therapy maybe? If he is a danger to himself or his family members they could even consider hospitalization. Is that a possibility? It sounds like this teen needs major help...help that his mother cannot provide, but professionals may be able to.
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